My Kid Is Screwed

When we were kids, our parents had the threat of baby pictures being shown to whatever friends came over to the house. I remember getting I mad when my mom or dad would threaten to take out the naked baby pictures.

I mean full-out teen rage. How could they even think about ruining my life like that? Didn’t they care that if they showed the pictures I would have to live the rest of my life in witness protection? I would never be able to show my face again. Ever. Not even kidding. I was naked in a bunch of those pictures. I was covered in baby gross and those really should have been burned. What the hell mom and dad?

Now, I’m a parent and I have options. Thanks to these here interwebs, I can embarrass the shit out of my kid. One picture posted to his facebook wall, one tweet, one video uploaded to YouTube, and everyone he knows will see it.

See, I’m not a collector on any of the social media sites. Those I’m friends with are people I would invite over to my house. Not teens, though. Teen are “friends” with everyone in their high school, and the neighboring high schools, and random people who friended them.

One post man, just one nekkid baby picture posted to his wall for 10 minutes will be spread throughout his friends list like wild-fire.

It’s gonna be epic.

My kid is so screwed.


And So You’re Back…

From outer space, with that sad look upon your face.

Sorry, but seriously, who doesn’t love a little Gloria Gainor. The woman made my theme song. “I will survive” is the song that pops up in my head every time I think it can’t do it. And by ‘it’, I mean everything, life, working out, being a mom, a wife, getting through the worst time of my life to date….anyway. Love the song.

I digress, like always. Shut up, it happens.

Quick re-cap, y’all. Fred, my pink laptop, died.

20120316-153228.jpg

He gave me the blue screen of death and I was in mourning for quite some time. But, I got me a brand spankin’ new dark gray computer and have already started personalizing it’s appearance. Not so sure about its name though still too early in the relationship to tell. Leaning towards Lita though…we’ll see….

Otherwise, it’s been crazy life as usual. Got a few posts I’m just about ready to pull the trigger on, just gotta proof read them and what not. Not that it matters, I never catch all the mistakes till I publish then go back and read the damn post. Eh, whatcha gonna do?


Bzz Agent Campaign: Smarterer!

Hi All!

So, we all remember a while back I said that was a Bzz Agent and got to try out a bunch of nifty stuff.

No? Well, then click on the tag and/or category for Bzz Agent, go to the first entry and see what it’s all about. It’s super cool.

Really, all the cool kids are doing it. You want in? Of course you want in. Yes, you want in. Stop that! I hate when people argue with me. You really want in!! Just go to www.bzzagent.com and sign up. Super easy, super free and super cool.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

So, the new campaign is this online test site called

It’s a really neat site and campaign, and the first one I actually feel I can give real feedback on. The other two were good campaigns, but I was rather neutral on them. I’m really glad I got my computer replaced when I did. I might have missed this campaign otherwise.

So, Smarterer, aside from the name absolutely driving me nuts. Smarterer, really? GAH! It’s a pretty neat site. There are tests on several different online forums, games, movies, pop culture, school subjects, computer programs, network sites…The test possibilities are endless since this seems to be the Wikipedia of test sites. I can make up my own test on my favorite garden layouts and post it there. I can even add my own questions to existing tests as well.

It was fun to take the Bzz Agent test, I stopped at a few points (40 something) shy of Expert Level since I really didn’t have time to continue. (Being a full-time Office B*tch, mom, wife and roller derby player eat up A LOT of free time). So, I guess I’m a quasi expert. IDK.

I can see this being incredibly useful for when it’s time for the Fresh Meat to study up for Derby assessments, it’s be a great way for them to study before taking the actual test. In fact, I will be suggesting this to our Fresh Meat coaches for that very reason.

I like that the tests are always evolving. Your score will not stay the same, as more questions are added, your score will drop.

OK, so, for the bit’s I wasn’t so hot on.

The timer for answering questions seems to be a bit fast. It does change with the length of the question/answers, but, I read fairly fast and the timerreally doesn’t allow for you to thoroughly read the question and answers and make a well-informed decision. Several questions I missed because I didn’t have time to go back a re-read the answers. After my first read through I’d have precious little time to read the question again and make my selection. As a dyslexic, this would absolutely screw me if it counted for a class or grade.

The site itself doesn’t really offer much info at a glance. I get that most of these tests are just little things with no real weight to them (I mean, come on, test your knowledge of the TV show Friends?) or for the purpose of replacing flash cards (basic math, english) or to just test your knowledge of e widely used computer program or web browser (Power Point, Firefox). But say for this campaign here. It says to take the test and post your score. How? It didn’t say on the campaign info page so I assumed there would be a “Hey! Look at you go!! Wanna post this to Facebook? Twitter? Anywhere on the internet?” sort of link. (Yea, I’m aware that this really isn’t the point of the Smarterer site, but wouldn’t most people want to easily post something they are scored on. I mean, I get all sorts of things in my timelines that are scored which do not test any knowledge.) There may be one, but, I looked in all the places you would usually find something like that, and, nothing. So, everyone will just have to take my word for it, I guess.

There is some great info in the links at the bottom of the page. But in this day and age, if it’s not front and center in big letters, most people aren’t going to go looking for it.

Don’t take my short responses to what I liked and the lengthy responses to what I didn’t like as my testament to not liking Smarterer. I like Smarterer (except the name, the grammar/english nazi in me wants to correct the duplicate ‘er’, much like Bzz Agent, I have yet to type Bzz, it’s always Buzz and I have to go back and correct it), I like what it is trying to do. I just think there’s a little room for improvement. I will be recommending this to people looking for an online alternative to flash cards, it seem like it could ba an invaluable option. especially if there was an app for smartphones, that way if you create a test for a class, you can add or alter questions while in the classroom with minimal effort.

(Hey all! Sorry I’ve been MIA. Had major  computer issues, as in Blue Screen of Death, issues. I had to get this Bzz Agent post out while it was all fresh in my mind. See y’all for my regularly scheduled snark, and some extra since I was computerless, in the next day or so. And, seriously? Look into this Bzz Agent stuff. It’s pretty sweet. It has to be if my first post on my brand spankin’ new computer is a Bzz Agent one!)


Fact.

Seth: Just because you say ‘fact’ with an authoritative tone, doesn’t make what you’re saying a fact.

Me: Yes it does.Fact.

Seth: No, it doesn’t.

Me: Yes, it does. Fact.

Seth: So, if I say the sky is orange. Fact. You’ll just roll with it.

Me: Sure. It’s the Law of Factness. I have to.

Seth: *

Me: The Law of Factness? Everybody knows about the Law of Factness. If someone says ‘Fact’ after saying something, it becomes a fact. Plain and simple.

Seth: *

Me: Fact.


LOOK! LOOK!!

GUYS!

GUYS!

CHECK THIS OUT!

http://homemadediva.tumblr.com/post/16237802731/the-greatest-salad-solution-ever

So, you know. Go out and make you some!! I know I’m gonna!

(Sorry about the long link. WordPress is being stupid and won’t let me do the nifty thing where I get to put whatever I want instead of a long link.)


“Fine” and “I Don’t Know” Are Bull Shit Answers.

How often does this happen to you?

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Or:

“What can I do to help/make it better?”

“I don’t know.”

How often is “fine” and “I don’t know” really the answer?

I can tell you that whenever I say either of those, I’m really saying: “I’m not fine, something is really wrong, but I feel I can’t tell you about it.”. Or, “I know what you can do, but I don’t think you can handle it/will like what I want to tell you/really want to hear what you can do, so I’m just going to tell you I don’t know instead.”.

Ug.

Really, there’s no good reason to not be honest, well, aside from that “girl thing” where we don’t want to talk about it, but want the other party to figure it out, but not in a malicious “see if you can figure it out” sort of way. Just in that….I don’t want to have to spell everything out for you, you have to know what needs to be done, sort of way.

Oh well, I’ve been this way for almost my whole life, I don’t see it changing at this point. Be nice if it would though.

Eh, you know what they say, want in one hand, right?

Sorry guys, back to regularly scheduled snark on the next post, promise.


Really? Are Ya Sure That’s What You Want? Really?

Of course, most of you are going to answer “Hell yes that’s what I want!”. But, is it really?

I had an epiphany in the shower this morning. Lighting, struck my brain (if I may steal from Hook). Mom’s (most times) don’t really want what they say they want.

See, Phillip got up way the hell too early, like always on weekends.

Seth was sound asleep, like almost always on weekends.

And I was half asleep on the Lazy-Boy with Phillip watching Futurama reruns way the hell too early, like always on weekends.

Then after two episodes of Futurama I told Phillip I was going to shower and that he needed to keep watching TV. He agreed and got himself comfortable on the chair under a blanket and I jumped in the shower.

I was under the screaming hot water for about, oh, 4 minutes before Phillip came in wanting attention.

The next, maybe, 10 minutes were spent with me begging Phillip to leave me alone and let me shower.

Then, about the time I was rubbing conditioner in my hair I realized that Phillip was quiet and was leaving me alone.

Nice, right?

Not really.

Anyone with a toddler knows exactly what ran through my mind.

I tried calling his name and he didn’t answer.

I was totally panicked and, well, I don’t think I’ve ever rinsed my hair and got out of the shower so fast.

I have to hand it to him, Phillip was sitting on the chair under the blanket watching Futurama and being very well behaved. But, in the mind of a mom…..

There is nothing quite as terrifying as the dead calm and silence when you have no idea where in the house your toddler is, or what they’re doing.

Like I said. Is it really what you want?


I Totally Forgot What I Was Going To Blog About.

No, really.

I was all excited, got on the site right away, then got a phone call at work and after explaining how the internet works to someone who’s only had a computer for the last month (that shit’s cray cray, I know) I’ve totally forgotten what I was going to write about.

ARG!!! I HATE when that happens!!!!

Oh well……

……..

……..

……..

I’ve had this screen up for two hours now, and still can’t remeber what I was going to write about…..

…….

…….

…….

OH! I remember now!! It only took four and a half hours.

Are we weird parents?

Seriously.

Seth’s older brother and his wife are super protective, everything has to be “just so”, their house is very sterile, hand sanitizer, baby locks, “we can’t do that, it’s for children 6 months to a year older than our oldest” (ok, so that was never said. But, it sure as hell was implied when I invited them to an activity that was geared for kids closer to four and five when out boys were 3 ish. Phillip went and had a blast….so… I still don’t get it), I mean, there is a distinct difference in what we’re doing with parenting.

Seth and I have the “he’s fine. Is he missing any teeth? Bleeding? A lot of Blood? Then he’s fine.” aproach to Phillip. Hell, he’s gone out shooting with real guns and riding on a motorcyle with Dad is a total non-event. Seth and I remember the stuff we did as kids, and we survived. All this “sterile envronment” stuff? I think it hurts kids.

Kids need dirt in their life. They need skinned knees, they need to climb trees, hop fences, get grass stains…it’s all part of being a kid.

Don’t thnk I’m totally off the reservation with non-saftey. When we go roller skating we all wear knee and elbow pads and wrist guards, but, I don’t sweat him playing outside, on a trampoline, on his bike, running through trees…I don’t worry about not having a fence.

We’re just the “Well? I caught him before he hit the ground!” parents. Not the “I would never let my kid do that! He might fall!” parents.

I remember being outside from the time I finished breakfast to the time my Mom called me in for dinner in the summer. I would play with kids I had never met before, and would never see again, until the street lights came on.

TV? TV was something that was in our house. I remember we even had cable. Hey man, in the 80′s, that wat HUGE!! Do you know when I remember actually watching TV? At night, after dinner, when my parents would put something on to watch, or when the babysitter came over to watch us. That’s it. I know I watched TV outside of those times, I remember the shows….but I really can’t recall a time where I sat down and actually watched the cartoons.

Granted, it’s a tad difficult to get active in Fairbanks Alaska when it’s -45 outside, but Phillip will still rather have a dart gun fight, put together a puzzle or read books rather than watch TV.

And, when I tell this to most other parents, they look at me like my kid is a weirdo and I’m an alien.

Seriously!

Are we weird parents?

Phillip is happy, well adjusted, loves meeting new people, isn’t afriad to try new things, wants to do everything, wants to help out all the time, he doesn’t seem to believe in the whole he’s to little to do something, he just does it to the best of his abilities.

He seems fine….I just get so many raised eyebrows when people see/hear how we’re raising him.


Buzz Agent Campaign! Comforts Brand Baby/Toddler gear!!

Hi All!

So, we all remember a while back I said that was a Buzz Agent and got to try out a bunch of nifty stuff.

No? Well, then click on the tag and/or category for Buzz Agent, go to the first entry and see what it’s all about. It’s super cool.

Really, all the cool kids are doing it. You want in? Of course you want in. Yes, you want in. Stop that! I hate when people argue with me. You really want in!! Just go to www.bzzagent.com and sign up. Super easy, super free and super cool.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

My new campaign has to do with:

 

Women and children having fun on a couch!

Ha! Just kidding! I get to try out the Comforts brand of baby/toddler gear. It’s found at the Kroger family of store chains, and since I do a fair amount of shopping at Fred Meyer, that makes it super convenient.

I had two sippy cups, a big pack of wipes, a coupon for a free pack of diapers or training undies and a bunch of coupons for 20% off of Comforts diapers, training undies, wipes or formula, all delivered to my doorstep.

C’mon parents out there. Y’all know how awesome it is to get wipes, WIPES, delivered to your door. And, a bunch of coupons for them. Seriously? Who can’t use more wipes?! Once I started carrying them after I had my son, I couldn’t fathom how I lived life without them before.

And, these wipes. These are pretty nifty, if I do say so myself. They are just as strong as the high-priced brands. They wipe up everything nice and clean, be it a toddler who got sticky for the 175,439th time that day or just a mess in the car. I’ve gone through a quarter of the pack that was delivered last Tuesday already. I will definitely be buying these again!

Then, there’s the sippy cups that were delivered. These guys are great. What I really, really, like about them is the fact they have this little flip top spout cover. Awesome. Granted they are the new thing in the house, but my toddler really likes them. He likes being able to flip the spout covers open and closed….Actually, hearing the cover constantly clicking does tend to get a little annoying, as anything that is done repetitively by your toddler does. But, that’s just a mom thing, nothing to do with the product itself. The sippy cups are great, the valves in the lid have a nice, tight fit. My kiddo throws a temper tantrum and tosses the cup, the valves stay put. That, is a biggie for me. I hate having to clean up water or milk off the floor because the vales popped out of the sippy cup lid.

So, all in all, and keeping in mind I haven’t tried the training pants yet, I’m a fan. I will be buying the wipes again and already bought a few more sippy cups!

Yay Buzz Agent!

Seriously, go to www.bzzagent.com and sign up. It’s totally awesome.


I think My Make Up Is Trying To Tell Me Something ~ UPDATED!

I was looking at all my lipsticks/tinted lip balms and noticed something……..congruent in their color names:

  • Merlot
  • Shiraz
  • Champagne
  • Spiced Rum
  • Mint Julep
  • White Russian
  • Cabernet

See the pattern there?

I think my make up is trying to tell me something…….

~UPDATE~

A bunch of sheets and blankets went on mega sale. Since buying for a king sized bed is not cheap, and it’s been a really long time since we had new bedding, I bought a few sets. The style of this brand that was on sale? Merlot.

I had no ideal until I was taking the ribbon off of the sheet sets.

Sigh.

My stuff thinks I’m an alcoholic.


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